On the lighter side..."A cheerful heart is the health of the body."* *Proverbs 17:22

1998 Spider Webb

Out of the mouths of….

"My younger brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth—that most of us go to hell and burn eternally—but I didn’t want to upset him."

"I often wonder how come John Tesh isn’t as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it’s because he really stinks."

"Even during vacation, you should go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there is anybody you want to make happy, it is God. Besides the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until noon anyway."

"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started."

"Lord, give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money."

"God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps him pretty busy. So you shouldn’t go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad’s head asking for something they said you couldn’t have."

"For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That’s what happens to cheese when you leave it out."

"God’s main job is making people. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think it’s because they are smaller and easier to make. His second main job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people pray at times besides bedtime."

"My family eats from the three basic food groups; canned, frozen and take-out."

"Don’t is the Ten Commandments in speed-reading."

Do you have a joke or a first person funny story that you would feel comfortable telling your grandmother? E-mail it to us at sfccr@slip.net October 1998, The San Francisco Charismatics (ISSN 1098-4046) Member of the Catholic Press Association of the United States and Canads. All rights reserved.

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