On the Lighter Side...


Money-payment is not one of the "conditions for forgiveness" in spite of the old Protestant idea that Catholics have to pay to get their sins forgiven.

The famous Father Healy was once at a dinner-party where a Protestant minister was holding forth about the Catholic Church.

"What would you say, Father, if I told you that I know a place in Italy where I could get all my sins forgiven for five lira?"

"I would say," replied Father Healy, "Go for it. That’s dirt cheap!"

Sister asked her class to give examples from the Gospel to show that Christ was both God and human.

One boy wrote, "Jesus was in the boat with the Apostles when a bad storm came up. Jesus proved that he was human because he was tired and fell asleep. The fact that he didn’t get mad when they woke him up proves he was God."

A newly appointed bishop, in his first private audience with Pope John XXIII, complained that the burden of his new office prevented him from sleeping.

"Oh," said John compassionately, "the very same thing happened to me in the first few weeks of my pontificate, but then one day my guardian angel appeared to me and whispered, ‘Giovanni, don’t take yourself so seriously.’ And ever since then I’ve been able to sleep."

Father sees one of his parishioners looking down and out. His clothes are shabby and he looks in need of a good meal. He confesses he has lost all hope of the future. The priest suggests that he should go home, open his bible at any page, and the words will provide consolation for his problems.

Several months later, buoyant, smartly dressed, and driving a new car, the man confides to the the priest, "I did as you said, Father. I opened my Bible and found the answer to my problems."

"What page did you open it at?" the priest asked curiously.

"Chapter eleven!" the man said.

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